Dear Bob,
I am sorry to hear that you are managing challenging thoughts that are getting you down.
Can I give you one solid bit of advice-stop listening to the news. You are not going to miss out on anything and there is enough information around that will keep you sort of aware on what is happening.The news is often filled with exaggerated misery. Find other, more positive things to listen to-and read. There is a lot of evidence to show that if you walk looking up at the sky and the tops of the trees and counting chimney pots that can help. You never see a happy person with their head lowered staring at the ground
Managing challenging thoughts might bring in a bit of `fake it til you make it` so stop thinking about how miserable you are and think about how you want to think. How you think effects how you feel. You can tell the brain about how you want to think and therefore be feeling, rather than just keep telling it that you are down etc. The brain is like an obedient, loyal dog and just wants to please you. It will only do what you say to it so tell it what it needs to hear. “I am waking up feeling content, I am walking and thinking how wonderful nature is.” Notice what is happening to nature around you-how amazing the colours are in nature at this time, how the oriental grasses in your garden have their wonderful sprays of flowers. Notice all that is wonderful around you. This may not be natural at first but you need to break the cycle of what you are seeing and thinking about in your life-and you are the only one who can do this.
When you get into bed, the last 3 things you can say to yourself is what you have been grateful for that has happened in the day. You remind yourself about the 2 things that you are looking forward to the next day.When you wake up imagine you doing these 2 things that you are looking forward to.
When you are in the shower visualise washing away any challenging thoughts and watch them go down the plug hole.
Get out the movies that make your heart sing and watch them. Listen to music that brings you joy, listen only to plays and programmes that make you smile. At this point turn everything else off.
Get the book by Ruby Wax-`Sane New World`. In this book Ruby talks about neuroscience and managing challenging thoughts. through re-programming her brain. Every word that comes out of your mouth is telling your brain something so only let words out that will be helpful for the brain to hear. Break the cycle.
A part of you will fight you to do any of what I am suggesting as it has a gain from you thinking challenging thoughts. It is a place you have got used to being in and it is like wearing an old pair of slippers. So ignore this part of you and say to it “Thanks but I don’t need you any more and I am choosing to think differently.”
You can make these changes. Take control through managing challenging thoughts-you are letting them manage you.
I hope you appreciate my honesty and saying it as it is. We can talk through further.
Let me know everyday what you have succeeded in doing-no matter how small you think it is. ` Every journey starts with a single step.` This is about small steps leading to a gradual shift in how you think. You can do it-I know you can.
Warm thoughts,
Fi x
Fi Feehan
My curiosity and love of learning has led me to deepen my knowledge in human behaviour with a particular focus on positive psychology, neuroscience and mindfulness. My creative mind and intuitive coaching style supports my clients to deepen their insights about themselves and take action to transform their lives.